Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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