he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
