Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
