i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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