Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize