This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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