alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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