I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
