HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got chris browned last night
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
