Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
