so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
