Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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