I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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