i love accidental penises.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
