dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
