Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize