Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You made out with two different species that night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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