Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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