is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
