can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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