if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it glows. i had to have it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
