New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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