Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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