I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
