Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
