Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
