Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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