Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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