yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
