Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
