you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
