i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's blow job season.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
