I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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