I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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