Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
