Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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