It's Friday. Sex?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
