i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
