So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
