Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
