I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I look better un-naked...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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