She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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