Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
