just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
