That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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