I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
