Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
