You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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