and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
