What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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