so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
