You smell like stripper and shame
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
