So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
