great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
