so that wasnt chicken after all
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
