I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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