So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
