Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize