I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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