Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
