We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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