she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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