Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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