no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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